Well what an interesting time it's been. From being diagnosed with breast cancer in March to now - it's been a roller coaster of emotions and insights that i'm choosing to use a great opportunity to grow.
You can read my previous 2 blogs 'I've got breast cancer, so what?' and 'Why my cancer is like a wayward teenager' at this link
I've healed really well after my lumpectomy surgery which took place on the 19th May and been feeling mostly great. I found the whole thing fascinating and was open to the experience .. really engaging with the feelings I was having and the wonderfully kind NHS staff who looked after me. And as its been a while since having an anaesthetic so it was interesting and rather nice to really experience float off..
The surgeon did an amazing job with a very neat scar (they are plastic surgeons after all so have very skilled handy work which i complimented them for). Jim laughed when i asked if she sewed her own clothes at home tee hee...
I was so lucky to be back to gentle yoga fairly quickly after surgery which I know really helped with my recovery an mindset. Thank you to everyone who sent kind messages. It is really appreciated. You can hear more about my experience after surgery in this video
The surgery in many ways for me was the 'easy' bit.. what i soon discovered was that it was the wait after the surgery, whilst waiting for the pathology reports which would determine any future treatment, that was harder. 3 long weeks (how slow does time go when you're waiting eh?!)
How often do we want to rush ahead to the future where we will then be ‘happy’. For me it could have been ‘I’ll be happy once I have the results (good or bad we’ll deal with them). But there are countess other scenarios that many of us might encounter
I’ll be happy when I get a new job.
I’ll be happy when I have more money in the bank
I’ll be happy when I get that new outfit
I'll be happy when that person treats me better
The list goes on..
What about if we could be happy and joyful right now. With all its trials and tribulations, ups and downs. What about if we didn’t wait to be joyful or at least content..
And this is what I decided to try to do… This video (from my cold tub lol) explains the wait and my final results
It wasn’t easy at times. But the meditation, yoga and mindfulness practice along with the yoga philosophy concepts such as Santosha (contentment) and Kritajna (gratitude) really helped me use this experience as an opportunity to grow. To know it’s ok to have doubts, fear and strong emotions. They can be there and I can still choose to feel joy and peace and thats ok. We have the power to choose..
That most of these emotions are based on perceptions that are not correct and jump to the worst case scenario (in my case ‘what if the cancer has spread’) which is actually pretty normal for our human brain Once we start to understand this and have more ‘correct thinking’ of the reality rather than our imaginary future life, things get much easier ..
And in the end the pathology results couldn't have been better
✔️ No spread to lymph nodes (therefore no chemotherapy)
✔️ No HER-2 protein (a more agressive type of cancer)
✔️ They got the margins around the tumour (therefore no need for another operation)
✔️ It's the most common type of cancer which is slower to grow and much more predictable in its actions
✔️ A short course of radiotherapy and i'm done for now i hope!
PHEW! I don't think i realised how much tension i had been holding until i got the results and it all flowed out... this is good. Water needs to flow so it doesn't stagnate ...
I'll be writing one more post on my cancer on radiotherapy, hormones, scans and moving forward soon so watch this space!
In the meantime. keep checking your boobs for lumps (yes gents you too..) and try to stay present with what is. Use your life as a great and interesting experience with all its ups and down.
You too have the power to master your mind and therefore your life. Sending all my love to you all and take lots of care with yourself and your loved ones